Missing Him Already

I just lost my precious grandfather, Dink, this week, and I had no idea that it would feel like someone took a part of me with him. I don't even know how to write about how I feel because I am not used to feeling so many emotions at one time! I feel sad that I will not see him, but I feel so thankful that I know he is in Heaven rejoicing and thankful that his body is now whole again. I was so blessed by the number of people who showed up today at his funeral to honor him. He touched more lives than I ever knew, but that shouldn't surprise me. His smile was contagious! He made everyone feel like they were a part of his family. I used to sit at their house when I was in high school and college, and he and Nanny would ask about our friends by name. They took an interest in our lives like we were their own kids. Our friends all new Nanny and Dink!
My sister and I used to talk about how we dreaded the day we would have to say goodbye to Dink, and while it was so hard, it was harder to see him suffer. We went to visit him just a week ago, and he had such a different look on his face than usual, he looked like he was in pain and exhausted, and he wouldn't talk. In all the years of pain from broken hips, broken legs, etc., he always smiled and pushed through. The other day, I just held his hand and he squeezed it a few times. Kate tried to talk to him, and she held his hand and later told me that he squeezed her hand too, and I never knew I would be so thankful for such a sweet memory. We left and Kate asked why he didn't talk to her, and I had to start explaining to her what I didn't even want to deal with myself. We knew that his end was getting closer.
Dink was one of the most amazing people I have ever met. He was a leader, a great example, a generous giver, and he could make anyone smile. He loved kids, and would light up whenever I brought my kids to visit. He was the only person in my life to call me "Lynn," and I loved it when he did. He loved my grandmother with a protective, unselfish love. He was a great father and grandfather, I tell people that he was really more like another father figure to me. We lived next door to him since I was about 14 years old. They would take us on trips to the beach every year, they would keep us for weekends, and they took each grandchild on a special trip for their 13th birthday. He made sure each one of us had everything we needed, and made sure we were happy. He and Nanny took me to England when I turned 13, and sent me to Germany when I graduated high school. I can thank them for my international travel before I was 18!
Dink was such a good example of what to look for in a husband, and Brandon has said several times how much he looked up to him. We would go to their house and Brandon would help Dink plant his garden. Dink would be on his hands and knees, covered in ants and probably in pain, but he would get his garden planted. I loved watching him eat his fresh tomatoes like apples. On our way to the beach, we would pick up a basket of peaches, and he would finish the whole basket while we were at the beach. He loved to eat! He loved working outside, so Brandon loved going out there with him and hearing stories about his life, about war, and about all of the things he had repaired in his little workshop.
I am so thrilled that my kids knew and loved him like they have. We would walk in their door and they would start heading for his room calling, "Dink, Dink." I know it will be hard to take them to see Nanny and watch them look for him again. It has been interesting explaining to Kate how we will not see him again, but that he is in Heaven with Jesus. She understands more than I thought she would, and she has even tried to comfort me and my mom. I picked her up from MDO the other day, and Kate said, "Let's go cheer up GiGi and tell her we love her." I was crying the other day, and Blake just came and held my leg and said, "No tears, mommy." When I picked the kids up from school the other day, Kate asked me what I did while she was at school, I told her I went to see Dink and she couldn't understand why I would go without them.
While I write this, I am sad because I miss Dink, but it makes me so thankful for the family we do have here, and so thankful that I can still share these sweet memories with Nanny. I keep wondering why I am even sad, because I know where he is, and that is the place we should all long to be, but I miss his sweet face! As they took his body out today, it was like they took a piece of me with him, and I am sure I embarrassed myself with the crying and sniffing, I almost couldn't take it. I ache for Nanny, thinking about how it must feel to lose her best friend of 70+ years. I ache for my mom and her sisters saying goodbye to their daddy. I ache that I won't see him the next time I go over there, but I rejoice knowing he is in the arms of our precious Savior, Jesus Christ. What a comfort, KNOWING that he is there!