I worked this past Sunday, and had several interesting comments made from other employees or parents of babies I was taking care of. Some of the compliments were annoying, like "Oh you look bigger than just around 25 weeks!" or "I guess you get bigger with the second one," etc. Those I just laughed about and chalked up to rudeness. But, I did have someone say to me, "You are going to have your hands so full, why would you ever want kids that close?" and "You guys are crazy, don't you know you are not going to make it through this?" First of all, YES, people really say such things. Second of all, I have been praying lately that God would just remind me that other people's opinions do not matter. And third of all, it is a little late for their advice to change things.
On my way to work that morning, I had heard a song on the radio that really brought tears to my eyes thinking about being a parent. I am drawing a blank to the name of the artist, but maybe some of you have heard it before. Some of the lyrics are:
If you say go, we will go
If you say wait, we will wait.
If you say step out on the water
and they say it can't be done.
We will fix our eyes on you and we will come.
Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that you have laid are good and true.
If you call us to the fire
You will not withdraw your hand.
We will gaze into the flames and look for you.
There is a beautiful version on Youtube with a clip from the movie, "End of the Spear," (which is also great) at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbTFa9px9Lc.
Anyway, thinking about these lyrics reminded me that nothing is too much to handle. Not that I think we were "told" to have another child, but we are thrilled to death that we are. And we believe that if God has brought us this far, He will carry us to the end. Even if I did have my own "foolproof" plan of how to handle 2 kids, His ways are higher than mine! I have learned to trust God more than ever after having Kate, and I have seen that His plans are good and true!
I have a friend at work who absolutely did NOT want kids, but she and her husband ended up pregnant and she was not too excited about it at first. I saw her Sunday for the first time back at work since she had her baby, and I asked her if it was better than she had imagined. It was so neat to look at her face light up as she told me that she loves him more than she ever knew she could (sleepless nights and all). I think parenthood is a calling, whether you "feel" it from childhood or from the day you find out you are having a child. And there is always uneasiness about being called to a task. Am I equipped to do this? Am I sure I want to do this? Can I handle this emotionally, physically, etc.? This song was such a reminder that God loves us and does not ask us to bear more than we can handle. I could not be more excited to see how He does use this time in our lives. I would like to say that I will always be able to sit and rest in Him and not worry about a thing, but I know I need constant reminding of His perfect plans for me and that He will not withdraw His hand from me! We are going to step out on the water and we will come! I just wanted to share how having some lyrics stuck in my head has comforted me and redirected me back to being thankful for the opportunity to love another sweet child!
12 comments:
How sad that people would say such things... It's amazing how the Lord often provides just what you need to hear, right when you need it! Thanks for sharing your heart!
It really blows my mind the things that people will say to a pregnant woman. I had one co-worker tell me all the time how huge I was, and she would continue to ask me if I was sure I wasn't having twins. Wow.
Anyway, what a blessing this new little life will be, and what a great perspective you have!! Isn't it true that parenting is one big leap of faith, constantly!!
We should go to lunch sometime! I know exactly how you feel! Driving through the greystone gate to pick up Caleb from my aunt's the guard said to me 2 days in a row...."are you sure you don't need to go straight to the hospital" and " and I don't think you are going to make it to September". And yesterday at work, a lady said (after telling her Noah is measuring bigger) "well I knew you looked alot bigger". Sometimes I can let comments like this roll off my back, but sometimes I let it get to me and it hurts my feelings! Yes, I am very pregnant, and yes I have two children close in age! I feel blessed for this opportunity. I know it is going to be hard....but I agree that the advice of needing to spread them out is NOT helpful now! Thanks for the reminder and I love that song. HIS WAYS are definitely higher than our ways! I know he will provide exactly what we need for each day. It is a neat opportunity to completely rely on Him for our strength and guideance!
That's insane. People are idiots sometimes. I think it's tough any time you have kids no matter how many or how far apart. There are just different worries for different age gaps. Bret is only 19 months (i think) older than Kyle but he loved growing up with a brother that close. I think there's something sweet about that. I grew up with a brother that was 7 1/2 years older and I felt more like an only child than anything. We are so happy for you and can't wait to meet Blake.
Oh Lindsey....yes, the dreaded comments...I have a book full of crazy ones!
You'll do fine....people do it all the time...and you have your family here!! Yes, there are hard times....but it's nothing God hasn't already equipped you for!
Someone said "Bless you for having 3 kids" to Robert and I the other day...as in I feel sorry for you!
Can't imagine what I'd get if we have any more!!!!
Don't you worry about what they say, Lindsay. Parenthood is a wonderful vocation, so fulfilling of God's purposes. You are doing His work!
Lindsey,
UUGGHH!! I could prbably guess who said what to you at work...it just amazes me that when people are unhappy in their lives they try to bring you down with them. I KNOW what wonderful parents you and Brandon are and have no doubt in my mind that you will continue to be wonderful no matter how many kids you have. Keep holding that head high and remember that a lot of times people are just jealous. I miss you guys. Kiss Kate for me!
Jen
I love that song, too, Linds! Steph sings it on one of Gary's CD's, and it's so beautiful in her voice. It honestly makes me get teared up sometimes!!
i'm being remined so much lately that there is no 'right way' of doing these things... there is a right way for you, and God is writing your story just the right way! it is so wonderful to have him sing love songs to us with encouragment just when we need it!
What a gift you are about to open up when you see your little one's face for the first time...all those comments will fall to the wayside! They definitely aren't fun to hear though, I have never understood how people can ask questions like that when women are pregnant!
I think Rita Springer sings that one...not sure if it was orignally done by her, but her version is amazing!
I understand how you feel with the comments. You will constantly hear "You have your hands full!" (where you respond, "and my heart"). And "I dont know how you do it (or the similar - "better you than me"). The fact is, God will not give you more than you can handle. I learned that. And there will be MANY struggles but the joys of two kids close in age are endless. You will have so much fun - especially when you get past the newborn stage. Don't let the comments get to you! :)
So here's for another comment- I think it's wonderful that you are having your babies so close together. I grew up with a brother 17 months older than me and I loved it, and it's even better now. In fact, I'm quite jealous of you. I would love to be pregnant again right now.
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